Being assertive is something you may normally consider confident people do naturally. If you are trying to improve your confidence as a step towards overcoming depression, then assertiveness training could really help you. Learning to act and speak in a more assertive way could help you overcome several other obstacles in your life such as shyness, low self esteem and a lack of confidence. Overcoming these issues will definitely open up new opportunities in your life and bring you much happiness.
What is Assertiveness?
Some mistakenly think that being assertive means being pushy or selfish in order to get your own way but this is not true and is an extremely misguided view. Assertive behaviour is positive and will bring you results in your dealings with others. Not being assertive is one way to cultivate low confidence, self esteem and worse. If you are an assertive person you will be confident to stand up and be counted, you will put your opinion forward and stand by it. You will not be quiet and go ignored. Normally because of the perceived risk involved in expressing yourself openly like this rather than keeping quiet means you need a certain level of confidence. If you want to conquer shyness or become more effective socially you need to be more assertive. Simply put, assertiveness is asking for what you want or speaking up for yourself when you feel strongly that you have something to say.
Why Is Being Assertive Important to You?
- Relationships – expressing your feelings and being able to ask for what you want means you will be happier in your relationships and this is more likely to make for a happier partner.
- Career – those who are passive at work are often undervalued and ignored for promotion. It is those who put themselves forward and ask for responsibility that are given it. Being more assertive will bring you better opportunities and more job satisfaction.
- Family – it is important to compromise whether you are a son, daughter or parent but it is also important to be assertive in decisions where you need to state what you want. Women are especially in need of being more assertive or the demands on them can be unbearable.
- Friendships – any friendship should be on an equal footing. When one person starts to demand too much of the other it is time to reassess that friendship. Being assertive and telling your friend honestly what you think is very important and being passive can make you very unhappy.
- Success and ambitions – if you set yourself any goal you will need to be assertive with others who may try to dissuade you or stand in your way. Again, being assertive just means declaring your intention to do something and claiming your right to be what you want to be.
- Self esteem – if you are passive and feel that you have not spoken up for yourself in any situation, not only may you lose out but you will feel terrible inside. This feeling may even cause you to lose confidence and if it continues could even lead to depression.
Assertiveness is a positive quality! Beware though, some will tell you being assertive is being selfish. Not so. As long as your assertiveness does not hurt anyone else and as long as you state your wishes calmly and confidently you are not acting selfishly. You have a right to be yourself and do what you feel is right for you. Selfishness is when you don’t care about others, only yourself. What being assertive is all about is respect for yourself and this will also reflect outwards as you begin to respect others as having equal rights as you.
If a lack of assertiveness is keeping you awake at night, help is at hand. You can escape the anger, depression and anxiety it causes with the skills to stand up for yourself, comfortably and calmly, thanks to this amazing program by Uncommon Knowledge, which consists of a 134 page e-book, 10 carefully crafted hypnosis downloads and a FREE bonus download! Click here or on the banner above to learn more about this course!
Assertiveness Training Self-Hypnosis Program
If you are interested in becoming more assertive and reaping the benefits that you will find as a result then I also recommend you get this helpful program which will transform the way you behave and change you for the better. Download The Assertiveness Training Self-Hypnosis Program now and start to improve the quality of your life!
The Assertiveness Workbook contains effective, cognitive behavioral techniques to help you become more assertive.
The best-seller that helps you say: “I just said ‘no’ and I don’t feel guilty!” Are you letting your kids get away with murder? Are you allowing your mother-in-law to impose her will on you? Are you embarrassed by praise or crushed by criticism? Are you having trouble coping with people? Learn the answers and get revolutionary new techniques for getting your own way.
Assertiveness and depression
There is a clear connection between both of these. Depressed people are not usually assertive, they are often quite passive. The opposite is also true ie. being assertive is a trait of those who are not depressed. Low self esteem is often expressed by passive behaviour because it requires confidence to assert oneself. In the same way, when someone suffers in silence instead of speaking up they can end up feeling very depressed. They may even feel like a victim which is a very negative state of mind and can define how you view yourself.
Many people have problems saying no to others. If you are not careful and always try to please others and say yes all the time, you may feel others are taking advantage of you. If you do not stick up for yourself your self respect suffers. This is a recipe for depression so at the very least demand respect from others and most of all from yourself.
Frustration and anger may be the root cause of your depression if you feel you are powerless in your life or trapped and unable to make a decision to change things so asserting yourself in a controlled and honest way may be just the thing needed to improve the situation and gain self respect.
One point that does need to be made, though, is that assertiveness must be balanced too little and you will become passive and others may take advantage of you, too much and you will seem overpowering and selfish to others and you will lose respect.
Being assertive requires good communication skills. There is much excellent research that shows how important communication skills are.