Written by Karl Perera BA, MA, DipLC
Updated: April 3rd, 2020

How to be Happy

I am happy Are you depressed and feel like happiness is impossible right now? You couldn’t be more wrong! As long as your depression is not due to a chemical imbalance, (which is often not the case), the following easy steps will show you how to be happy by reducing your negative thinking and the hold it has over you and your mind.

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So here we go…

Steps to being a happier person

Gratitude
Think of your life right now. What good things are there to be thankful for? Stay with me, because even if you are very depressed as you read this, there is always something to be thankful for. OK, so now start listing these positive things on a piece of paper or just go over them in your head. The fact that you can find many positive things in your life no matter how depressed you may feel is comforting and will change your mood. I tried this exercise when I was depressed and it is amazing how we ignore just how many good things are present in our lives. Reminding yourself each day is a really positive boost. Try this every day for at least a week and if possible do it twice a day. Doing this regularly will gradually change your focus from the negative to the positive and your depression will start to weaken.

Pause in the Moment

If you stop for one moment and forget the future and the past and concentrate on now, I’m sure you’ll see that right now everything is OK. Look around and ask yourself what is everything like now, you will see that there are no problems or worries in the present. Bring yourself into this present and forget everything else at least for as long as you can. You see, any stress you feel is mainly about the past or the future and it is wrapped in worry.

It is a surprise to understand this simple rule: if you are worrying it is almost always about the future or the past and you can’t change either of them. The only control you have is over the present, so why not put your attention there? If you do your future will improve naturally.

Any changes you make in the present can change your future. Worrying changes nothing and usually stops you from changing anything. So stop worrying about what might happen and change what you can right now.

What if…?

What if you get that job you want? What if you make a new friend? What if everything goes well? What if and then something positive is mind changing! Instead of thinking negatively you will begin to expect something positive. Change can be good… And what you expect usually comes true, so expect better.

At least..

No matter how bad things appear you can always find a positive. Try adding at least to the end of your sentences when you hear yourself begin to complain.

“I am fed up with my job but at least the hours are flexible. He talks too much but at least he is honest.” This also will help you to think more positively. Depression makes everything black and this technique can help bring in a little light. This is a small yet significant step towards living more positively and believe me it will change your life.

Stop saying “I can’t”

Realize that there are few things you can’t do. Mostly what you are saying is that you don’t want to do something. Examine why this is so – is it fear? Start correcting your statements and also those you tell yourself. Take responsibility for what you say and what you choose and you will be more happy as a result.

Decide to be happy

Sounds very easy but yes you can decide to be happy or unhappy now! Decide to change what you can and accept what you can’t and decide to be happy and more positive. You will weaken the grip that depression has over you.

If you are unhappy and down you will think negatively and all your energy will be drained. This is no way to change things for the better. If you are happy you are more likely to make positive decisions that will improve your situation and take you closer to what you desire.

Start imagining things improving

What you can see as possible, is possible. If you dream something you can make it real. Nothing ever happened in this world without there first being a dream. The only thing stopping you from achieving what you want is your thinking and your fear. As soon as you think things can improve, they will.

Only you have the power to change your mood and if you do, happiness will be your new reality.

Exercise

You don’t have to become a fitness freak or become obsessed, just get up and do some exercise each day. There are many different forms of beneficial exercise from walking to swimming, going to the gym, playing a sport, it doesn’t matter which you choose. Exercise actually fills your brain with happy chemicals and will give you an almost immediate lift in your mood.

The forms of exercise that involve getting out and about in nature can also inspire you and make you happier. The fresh air alone can fill your brain with oxygen and make you feel better. Don’t forget that while your exercising or even going for a walk, negative thoughts will leave you. many people have had their best ideas while out for a walk or when exercising in the gym so there are many benefits both physical and mental.

Helping others

Being unhappy or depressed can cause you to focus on your problems so much that you may become isolated and forget about others. One of the best ways to feel happier is to do something to help others. This will help you to feel useful and the kind act will make you feel more positive about life. You could help someone you know or volunteer but consider this as a wonderful way to contribute.

So much happiness can be gained from interaction and communication with other people and when you see that someone has benefited from your actions this will certainly make a big difference to how you feel.

Check out some other ways to become happier here

I hope that these easy to use techniques will help you become happier and whether you use them as part of your depression cure or your main strategy then I wish you luck. You can be happy and beat your depression. Know that you are not alone. Millions suffer every day and most recover, so can you.

Website Author Bio

Karl Perera is a fully qualified Life Coach, Teacher and Author of Self Esteem Secrets. He has overcome severe depression and now helps others to do the same. His qualifications include Masters and DipLC. He has taught at various universities including Durham University, University of Leicester and Anglia Ruskin University, Cambridge. He is a member of Mind. He founded Depression-Helper.com in 2001 and is an expert in Depression and Self Esteem.